The Married Life
by hannymae
Summary: How does one Saiyaman and one Saiyagirl spend their married life? Saving the day? Hell yes! Reuniting with an old friend? Wait WHAT! G/V oneshot.


"AAHH!" Retired pop star An Azuki screamed as her captors left her strapped to a chair wired with explosive. "HELP ME! SOMEONE SAVE MY FAKE GLITTERY ASS!"

The wall came crashing down and Saiyaman stood in the room. "Never fear!" he proclaimed, striking a few poses. "Your hero is here... The Great Saiyaman!" He ended his dance by squatting and shaping his arms in an 'M' shape over his head.

"SAVE ME!"

Saiyagirl floated through the wall and sighed. "Come on, Mr Saiyaman. Best we do what the lady says. You're the best at bomb disarming. I'll try to keep the building from collapsing from that hole in the wall _you_ caused." She placed her hands on her hips and glared at Saiyaman through her visor. "Yeah. Turns out that part was integral to the structure. I say five minutes before the entire building falls apart, give or take."

While Videl did her best to hold the building, Gohan set to work on the bomb. _Well, this is a real throwback! I haven't seen a pipe bomb in years. Hmm, I might actually need some time for this. How do you dismantle one again?_

"Hurry up!" Videl ordered as the place started to fall apart. "I can sense her captors nearly out of the city by now and heavens knows that the police are useless." She paused before saying, "No offence to Kuririn. He's an exception." She felt the villains' chi drop. "Oop, never mind. Kuririn's got them."

"HURRY UP AND SAVE ME ALREADY!" shouted An Azuki. "I HAVE A BOTOX APPOINTMENT TO GET TO! I DON'T LOOK THIS YOUNG ON MY OWN, YOU KNOW!"

Videl groaned. _Of course we get stuck rescuing An saggytits. Why does she always have to get kidnapped all the time?_ The retired pop idol had been kidnapped three times this week and this time was the fourth one. Videl debated on giving the woman private martial arts lessons for the sake of everyone's sanity. The crowd gathered outside weren't even shocked or scared anymore. There was even one guy checking his watch and slurping a soda with hooded eyelids.

It was just another day in Herculopolis.

 _Oh right!_ Gohan mentally slapped himself. _There should be a trip wire around here somewhere. If I can release the wire, the bomb won't detonate._ He soon detected the wire and removed it. An Azuki sighed in relief.

"Thank you, young man!"

"About time!" Videl called from her place, stretching out her leg to kick a support beam that was falling off the building away from the crowd. "You're losing your touch, Mr Saiyaman."

"Next time, you try disarming a bomb with a banshee screeching in your ear," Gohan snarked as he untied the pop idol, oblivious to An Azuki's offended expression.

"Touche." Videl's watch started beeping. "Uh oh! We've got another hijacked plane. Time to go, Gohan!" She glanced down. "We're going to have to let this building fall. The police have already evacuated the people."

"Got it."

Gohan floated An Azuki to a safe place, Videl by his side.

"Maryland Street?!" An Azuki cried. "My beauty clinic is on the other side of the city!"

"Too bad," Videl said as she and Gohan lifted off. "Better luck next time, Barbie!"

* * *

"AAAHHHH!" A passanger screamed as the plane nose-dived toward the ground. "SUPERMAN, SAVE US!"

"HIS TWITTER SAYS HE'S ON A DATE WITH LOIS LANE!" A flight attendant wailed. "CURSE YOU, SUPERMAN!"

"I've always been more of a Batman kind of guy," piped a geeky looking fellow. "He's so cool."

Outside, Gohan and Videl were witnessing the plane fall. To them, it was like watching a snail crossing Russia.

"I call dibs!" Videl said, dashing off.

"Hey, no fair!" protested Gohan, following her.

"Nuh! You saved An Azuki - not that I'm complaining - so now it's my turn."

The plane was about to hit the ground and explode in a fireball when Videl caught it with both of her hands, struggling slightly. She wasn't as strong or fast as Gohan so a feat like this was quite tasking for the human woman. "Hrrgghh...!" The ground cracked at her feet. "Dammit!"

Suddenly, the plane was lifted up and placed right-side up. Gohan smirked at Videl. "Looked like you needed a bit of help there."

"S-shut up," Videl muttered, blushing beneath her visor. "I'm just a bit rusty, okay? It's tough going back in the crime-fighting business after so many years."

Gohan nodded understandingly. "Don't worry. You'll get used to it again. You may not be saiyan like me, but you're definitely one of the strongest humans on earth. You'll adjust to it soon."

"If you're sure." She stretched her arms up. "All this crime-fighting warrants a break. What say you about hitting the cafe?"

"I say that last one there is a rotten egg."

"Hey, wait!" Videl called after her husband as he took off into the air. "You'll pay for that!"

* * *

Dressed in their normal civilian clothing, Videl and Gohan sat in a malt shop, sharing a chocolate milkshake. Around them other couples were doing something similar with strawberry, vanilla or even taro milkshakes.

Videl's phone dinged and she glanced down at it, her eyes lighting up in surprise. "Hey, Gohan. Eresa just texted me to say that she's in town today." She tapped a message in response. A few seconds later, Eresa responded as well, and Videl smiled. "She's coming here, Gohan. You don't mind, do you?"

"Of course not," Gohan replied, grinning. "It'd be nice to see an old friend again. I haven't seen Eresa since graduation." He rubbed his chin and gave Videl a sly look. "Come to think of it, I don't think Eresa's ever met Pan before."

Videl caught on. "Oh, you are evil."

"Be right back, 'Del!" Gohan exited the store and took off to the sky. "Text me when Eresa arrives so I can come in after her."

Ten minutes later, Eresa walked into the store and reunited with Videl in a mess of kisses and hugs. The blonde, whose hair was cropped in a slightly different style than the one she wore during high school, squealed with delight as she embraced Videl.

"Oh, Eresa!" Videl cried, beaming happily. "It's been like what, two years?!"

"I know right!" said Eresa, sitting down next to Videl in the booth. "Man, work has really been busy. My new clothing line is getting real popular and I'm practically shitting out new designs every day. My editor and my manager are putting sooo much pressure on me. And then add the fact that I work part-time at the shoe store." The blonde pouted and crossed her arms across her busty chest. "Seriously, you try being me for one day and you'll kill yourself before the day is even over. You always did hate shopping and clothes."

Videl rolled her eyes. "And yet you still insisted on dragging me to every shop you saw. You spent forty five minutes looking at _one_ pair of shoes one time. So what if it was ruby red?! It wasn't that much different from velvet red!"

Eresa clasped her hands together in a mock gesture to ask for forgiveness. "Sorry! Forgive me, my sweet, wonderful best friend!"

"Hmph," Videl huffed. "I don't know if I should. I spent many torturous hours getting shoved into changing rooms with an armful of skimpy dresses."

"Aww, please?"

Videl tapped her chin. "Hmm... I think you'll need to buy me another chocolate malt first."

"Deal!" Eresa did not miss the fact that there were two straws in Videl's malt as she made her way to the counter. _Hehe... So you finally found a boo, huh? He must be a real hunk to catch your eye!_

When Eresa returned with Videl's new malt, she was surprised to see Gohan sitting opposite the crime-fighter with a small bundle in his arms. Her eyes widened and she hastily placed the milkshake on the table before shrieking, "GOHAN?!"

"Eresa!" Gohan greeted cheerfully. "It's been so long! How are you?" He held out his hand and Eresa shook it with a huge smile plastered on her face.

"Oh my god! I can't believe it's you." She lowered her voice. "I never got to tell you how great you were at the tournament. But why use the alias 'Saiyaman'?"

"I just really like the superhero," said Gohan. "He's smart, amazing and really, really strong."

Videl snickered. _I never took you as the type to toot your own horn, Gohan._

"Really?" Eresa said with a healthy amount of skepticism. "He always seemed pretty dorky to me. I remember Sharpner showed me a video of him doing all his poses and it was really lame."

Gohan forced a smile on his face, trying to ignore Videl, who was _this_ close to exploding with laughter. "To each their own, I suppose!"

"Yeah, I guess." Eresa stared at the bundle of pink in his arms. "What's that, Gohan?"

Gohan turned Pan over and the little baby's chubby face was now in Eresa's view. The blonde girl's jaw dropped.

"Here we go," Videl muttered under her breath.

"No. Way. In. Hell. Is... Is that what I think it is?! GOHAN! YOU HAVE A DAUGHTER?!"

Gohan winced and laughed nervously. "Y-yep." _Geez! I keep forgetting how loud she can be._ "She's mine alright."

"Who's the mother?"

The demi-saiyan purposely forced himself to look sad. "She didn't want to keep the baby so now I'm raising her on my own."

"Oh my gosh! So she's... Illegitimate?"

Gohan nodded despondently. "But I'll still love her no matter what."

Eresa cast him a sympathetic glance before not very subtly changing the subject. "So, V, who's your latest boo? I noticed that there were two straws in your milkshake." She clicked her tongue. "Is he hot?"

"Oh, he's really dreamy," Videl said with a loving sigh. "He's charming, handsome, smart and strong..."

"Wow! He sounds like the whole package!" Eresa exclaimed, completely oblivious to Gohan's smug smirk. "I can't wait to meet him."

"You already know him."

"Ooh! A guessing game, then. Hmm... Sharpner?"

"Ew! No way!"

Gohan slapped his forehead. _Really?_

"Hah, gotcha!" Eresa said, poking her tongue out. "I'm actually married to Sharpner. Just checking that he wasn't cheating on me with my best friend. I mean, if he did cheat, he could at least broaden his horizons a little. Then maybe I wouldn't be as mad. Let's see... Marker?"

Gohan tapped his fingers on the table, unable to imagine Videl with the muscle-bound red-haired jock from their school days. _Nope. Nope, nope and nope. Sorry, Eresa, but you're really far off._

Eresa noticed Gohan's behavior and narrowed her eyes. "Well, you obviously know something I don't. Do you know who Videl's new boo is?"

"You could say that," Gohan replied with an amused expression. "Have I ever told you about Pan's mother, Eresa? No, I don't think I have, especially since this is the first time I've seen you in years."

It worked. Eresa was already distracted. "Pan? Is that her name? It's a beautiful one! And go on, tell me about Pan's mother. Was she nice? I mean, she can't be that nice, considering she didn't want to raise her and all."

Videl coughed.

Totally oblivious, Eresa plowed on, "Is she mean then? Ugly? Pretty? I bet she was real hag - no offence, Gohan - someone with such a bad personality can't look all that great either. It's like, fact and stuff. Ooh! I bet she had piercings in weird places, right? In my opinion, nose rings make you look like a total cow. Is that an accurate description?"

By now, Videl was frostily glaring at her best friend but Eresa didn't notice, staring intensely at Gohan as she awaited her answer.

"She's smart," Gohan began. "Strong, and really, really beautiful." He flashed a winning smile at Videl, who rolled her eyes in mock exasperation. "She's the best woman I could ever ask for and I love her more than anything else in the world." He cuddled Pan softly. "Except for maybe this little bundle of joy here."

"Huh?" Eresa said, totally confused. "That doesn't sound right. And why were you smiling at Videl..." Her eyes widened in realization. "Oh my god."

"Surprise," Videl said dryly. _Three... Two... One..._

"HOW COULD YOU POSSIBLY ABANDON THIS POOR INNOCENT CHILD, VIDEL?!"

"EH?! YOU STILL DON'T GET IT?!"

* * *

After half an hour of explaining everything to Eresa, the three finally said their goodbyes a few hours later when night had fallen. Pan had woken up during their conversation at the malt shop and Eresa had cooed a _lot_ at the young child. Almost to the point where Videl contemplated filing a restraining order on her ditzy best friend.

"It's been a long day," Videl said as she switched on the lights in the house and placed her things down. She looked to where Gohan was. Her husband was holding a sleeping Pan in his arms. "Even Pan's asleep already."

Gohan let out a loud yawn. "Yeah. I'll see you upstairs; gotta tuck this little tyke into bed."

An hour later, they lay facing each other in their shared bed, both on the verge of falling asleep. Gohan was certainly about to when Videl's voice broke the silence.

"Hey, Gohan?"

"Hmm? Yeah?"

"... Can we do this again one day?"

"Sure, why not? Goodnight Videl. Love you."

Videl smiled into her pillow, though she knew that Gohan couldn't see it. "Love you too, Gohan."

* * *

 _ **A/N: The first G/V fic I've ever written in my life. Probably the last, but we'll see *-***_

 _ **The malt shop is inspired by Archie Comics (gosh, I love those)!**_

 _ **Review?**_


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